Thursday, April 30, 2009

Shared Pain Shared Joy

I heard somewhere that shared pain is halved and shared joy is doubled. I have been thinking about that sentiment a lot over the past few days and have to say that I'm a believer!

Many people go through the 1st trimester in seclusion/secrecy and don't let anyone know they are pregnant until they are out of the "danger zone". I think that's such a personal decision and respect whatever approach a couple takes in revealing that type of information. We made a conscious decision to be open about this process, sharing the good news and the bad news openly, honestly and as it happens to us.

When we found out that we had lost the pregnancy, one of the first things I thought about after the initial shock was that I had to let our family and friends know. At the time, it seemed daunting to put into words what had happened and I second guessed our decision to be so open about this journey. It was a short-lived thought and immediately took me back to the shared pain/shared joy concept.

Once I started writing about what had happened and speaking to our family and friends on the phone, I realized that sharing this "bad" news was the most cathartic thing we could do to deal with our emotions. We received an abundance of loving, caring emails and calls from people we are close to and people that are peripheral acquaintances. At the end of the day on Tuesday, I felt so serene and had a real sense of hope rather than doom, as I had felt on Monday night when we received the initial news from our doctor. 

We will continue to be an open book about this process. WHEN we do get pregnant again and as the pregnancy progresses, we will continue to share the full spectrum of emotions we are feeling and that sharing and exchange between us and our support network is a very powerful experience. We are fortunate to have people to hold our hands and hearts throughout this journey and know that open, honest and timely communication is what works for us.

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