Yesterday was a difficult day for us emotionally. Getting the news that we had lost the pregnancy was both unexpected and disappointing. Intellectually, you know that the first trimester is precarious territory, filled with an endless array of things that can go wrong (approximately 15 - 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage in the 1st trimester) but you hope hope hope and believe that it won't happen to you. When it does, you are shocked but at the same time not shocked because you knew that it could happen. Know what I mean (KWIM?)?
A day later, things look different from an emotional perspective. We've accepted what happened and know that we must move forward and stop looking in the proverbial rear view mirror. We can't change what happened but can celebrate the joy and excitement we felt over the past week and be thankful for the ability to live through and feel the totality of the experience. This is a classic case of life on life's terms. We are not promised that things will always go our way know matter how much we might want them to.
A few weeks ago, our friends Scott & Ron, introduced us to services at the Sacred Center New York. What a blessing. Thanks guys! At one of the services I attended, the minister, Rev. August Gold, spoke about a change in perspective. She suggested that we ask the question "Why did God do this FOR me?" rather than the default question of, "Why did God do this TO me?". WOW, what a powerful change in perspective. Isn't it amazing how much of a difference one word can make in how we process and interpret events in our life. It made a HUGE impact in my life and has been a valuable tool in helping me to review and make peace with the ups and downs of this journey. I asked myself that question many many times since Monday and have found a lot of peace in working through my feelings with that question as my guide.
I don't completely understand why things happen but I do firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that the things that happen, both good and bad, occur exactly as they are supposed to.
Today, I am happily looking forward to continuing our journey and KNOW with certainty that we will be successful in creating our family soon. The question is not if it will happen but when it will happen! I don't have to figure out the answer to that question, I just have to be willing to stay on the path and remain positive in my thinking and actions.
Today is a great day, a day to be grateful for and LIFE IS GOOD!