A friend of mine (Mac Robinson), who I've known for over 15 years sent me this wonderful note. The note is so touching and honest. It's amazing how many of our friends have shared their stories, thoughts and experiences with us along this journey. Each email, phone call, card, etc. have meant so much to us and really helped us to grasp (as much as we can at this point) the magnitude of what we are on the cusp of experiencing. Thanks for the wonderful note Mac!
Here's the note Mac sent (BTW, not a typo...Mac and many of my friends from Virginia call me Victro!):
Well Victro you are on the cusp of the most amazing event you will ever to be lucky enough to witness and be a part of. I never realized how miniscule the crap in my life was until Zac came into the world, screaming, crying and peeing all over the doctors as Al Green played in the background ("its 3 o' clock in the morning...well...."). They wiped him off and weighed him. He got his shots and he was screaming and I finally stopped jumping around and went close to his ear and said, "it’s ok buddy, we are gonna take care of you." He stopped crying and looked through the goop they put in his eyes and stared at me for a moment and then went back to screaming and peeing. It was in that moment of him staring at me that I realized my life as I knew it was over and I had bigger things to do. It was exhilarating and frightening all at the same time. Then they handed him to me and I just about lost my legs. Such a feeling that this little helpless child was now in my care. I took him to see his Mom, he was crying again but as soon as she spoke he got quiet and looked, then closed his eyes and slept. He was at peace. I sat there with him in my arms and Z stroking his forehead and had a feeling of what idiots we were to think we could do this, but mostly I really truly felt love for the first time. It was such a relief and so free and so unconditional. This was all reinforced when Max came, as he was attempting to literally leap into the world and was screaming as Al Green played in the background (eerie but true). I am very happy that soon you too will get the opportunity to feel it. It is like nothing you have ever had and even if you have another, you will never have it again. I call it "the reason." That is the reason for love, hate, protection, art, science, religion, war, freedom, passion, excellence, whatever...everything. I love ya buddy. Enjoy. Your friend always, Mac
So many questions, so few answers! LOL! We are so lucky to have so many friends and family members interested in all things Coco. We are in the home stretch and know that we'll be holding our little girl VERY SOON!
Yesterday (Sunday, January 31st), we spent the day with Kira and our friends Robin & Alexis. We had lunch at Caioti in Studio City, home of the famous "labor inducing salad" but so far, no such luck for us from the renowned salad! After that we took Kira to have a 90-minute reflexology & "faceology" session. All Kira seems to have gotten from that is a sore head from the practitioner banging stones on top of her head and sore ears from her talking to Kira so much during the session! LOL!
Kira did lose her mucous plug yesterday and had the "bloody show" so it can't be long now. Losing the mucous plug isn't the best indicator that labor is imminent, however, the bloody show usually means labor is just around the corner (usually about 48-hours) because it indicates that the cervix is beginning to efface (thin out). We will certainly see!
If Coco isn't born by Wednesday night, Kira will be induced on Thursday morning. Stay tuned!
OK, 11 days to go until our induction is scheduled on Feb. 4th. We are all hoping that little Coco makes her entry into the world before that date but you never know. If we've learned anything about pregnancy over the last 2 years, it's that we can't predict when anything is going to happen! LOL!
We had an appt. last Friday (Kira was 37 weeks 4 days) and she is staring to dilate (1 cm) but she is not effaced (meaning the cervix has not thinned out yet) and Coco is at -3 station (that means the baby still has quite a way to go down the birth canal!). That said, these things can change in an instant. It's really quite amazing and a lot of the triggers for labor are unknown so we wait!
Kira is definitely ready for the birth but not thrilled about an induction so we will most likely try some "natural" induction techniques at the end of next week (if she hasn't gone into labor). We have heard about a restaurant in Studio City that makes a salad that women all over Southern California travel to to eat because the salad dressing is believed to induce labor. Don't laugh! Hundreds of women swear by it and they are so protective of the recipe for the salad dressing that all employees have to sign a confidentiality agreement in order to work there. So, we're gonna go have a salad! Check out the link below for more info. about the salad. Also, foot reflexology is believed to trigger labor so next weekend we are going to take Kira for a reflexology session. Hey, it's worth a shot right! LOL!
In the end, we know that Coco will come when she is supposed to come. We are all having a little fun trying to figure out when that will be but will continue to wait patiently until the big day.
It's so hard to believe that we are literally days away from being Dads. After wanting something for so long, it is incredible to think that in short order we will be responsible for a beautiful and dear life.
As we wait for our daughter to be born, lots of thoughts have been floating through my mind. I've been thinking a lot about our parents and what they must have been feeling as they waited for us (me and Chris) to be born. They most likely experienced many of the same feelings of excitement, anxiety, nervousness, anticipation and fear that we are experiencing right now. I'm almost 40 and Chris is almost 41, yet our parents were going through this experience at 27 (my Mom) and 23 (my Dad) and Chris' parents had Chris in their early 20s too. I can't imagine becoming a parent at that age. They were all clearly more mature and responsible in their 20s than we were (LOL!).
I ask myself all the time if we are ready for Coco. Do we know what we're doing? Can we handle a baby? I don't have an answer! I'm not sure that you can ever be completely prepared for a life-changing event of this magnitude. What I do know is that we are filled with love for our daughter and I know that that love will allow us to be the best parents we can be for Coco.
So, we made it to LA and are getting settled in our home away from home. Truthfully, it's not so bad being away from NY at this time of year!
We are a little over 36 weeks now and things are moving right along. Kira came up to LA to spend the day with us on Saturday. We spent the afternoon sitting around chatting, feeling Coco move around (now that was AWESOME!!!), went out to eat and Kira and I (Victor) had an afternoon of beauty at the spa. (Chris opted for chatting on the phone and buying lots of moisturizers and hair products at CVS...). We had a wonderful time and it's really special to be able to share this time with Kira.
Kira started to feel "false labor" pains and Braxton-Hicks contractions on Friday night and they have continued. So, it looks like Kira's body is getting ready for the big day! Now the question is, when will that day be?!?! It will be a surprise to us all but no matter when it is we'll be prepared. If Coco hasn't come on her own by February 4th, Kira will be induced that morning.
In the meantime, we are trying to relax as much as possible while we wait to meet our daughter!
Kira is all ready for the embryos! Where's the doctor?
Home Pregnancy Tests (HPTs)
Well, lots of people in the surrogacy industry (doctors, & agencies) don't like HPTs. There is a chance that a HPT can indicate a false positive so blood tests are the best means of verifying pregnancy. That said, the 2 week wait between the embryo transfer and the blood test, is excruciating so many IPs (intended parents) and surrogates rely on HPTs to get some clue as to whether they are pregnant or not. HPTs can detect HCG (the pregnancy hormone) fairly early on, often several days before the surrogates missed period. 4 days after the transfer of our 6-day old embryos, our surrogate took a HPT and got a positive. As she has gone further along, the tests have gotten darker (that's good!). In the pictures, the control line is on the right and the pregnancy indicator line is on the left.
HPTs: 5/26, 5/27 & 5/28
HPTs getting darker...5, 6 & 7 days after transfer
HPTs: 5/29, 5/30 & 5/31
16 was taken just before our first beta test - beta was 305!
HPTs: 6/2 & 6/4
18 was taken the day of our 2nd beta test - beta was 985!
Chris, Kira & Victor after dinner
We had a great dinner at Cafe Firenze on April 2nd
We are two Dads documenting life with our wonderful daughters, Coco and Kiki and our two super cool dogs: Shih Tzu, NeNe and terrier poodle mix Snowball. This is going to be the adventure of a lifetime and we invite you to share it with us!